another moral hangover. fuck.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
