now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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