i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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