i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
