omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize
