So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
