I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i barfeds in our rink
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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