Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
