so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
