i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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