just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize