Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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