its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
