I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
