I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize