I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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