Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
