I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
As shirtless as possible
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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