what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
