Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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