Where is the hickey?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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