I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
