I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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