these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize