using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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