how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
