When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
