OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it's great music for shaving your balls
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
