I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize