summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
