walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
