Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
