i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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