I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize