Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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