hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
