me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
