she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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