Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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