I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
