Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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