i just wanna soil my oats bro
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
