Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think my mom watched the whole time
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
