I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
