I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
