dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
