But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
