oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I have post one night stand depression
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
