I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
