Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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