try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
