i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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