I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
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