I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Quick, to the slutcave!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dear god my vagina.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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