Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
