Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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