her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
