Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
the raccoons are back...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
