All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
