If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
