On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
As shirtless as possible
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
