Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
