i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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