It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
