I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
