I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
